A Challenging 24 Hours

Last night we had the third IDF attack since I've been here. This is the first one I really was nervous about because it was so close to the dorms. I came "home" from work at 9pm and I managed to miss the BOOM because I headed into my room, changed and b-lined to the bathroom to brush my teeth, etc. Then the girls coming into the bathroom said, "Did you hear that!!??". I hadn't. Then bang, bang, bang, down all the hallway doors. Everyone needed to get into their flak vests and helmets (IBA/Individual Body Armor). Do I have my dog tags on or my IBA available??? NOOOOOOOO. Bad Sagey!! So, because some of the girls in my room work nights, I borrowed someone else's IBA who was at work. I felt guilty, but what's a girl under mortar attack to do? Once things calmed down and we reported to the hospital for accountability I brought the IBA to the ICU to give back to the girl and wore my IBA home. I had left my IBA at work because I needed it for a brief earlier this week, and, there is no room for me in my room. :0/ Next week I move into a bhut and can finally get settled! Although after last night I'm more nervous about going into one. But I figure, what will be will be, it's out of my hands.

Today was going to be my "rest" day but it still ended up being a 12 hr day. I did break away to work out during the day, which was great. I felt all empowered as I ran on the treadmill listening to my Nicki Minaj and Beyonce :)  However...when I came home to shower, I remembered why the dorms can suck. The room I'm in is dark 24/7 because of the mix of day and night time sleepers.To get ready to shower I turned on a bed-clamp light by the door (where all my stuff is, and by the way this is the light I was asked to use by one of my roommates). This irritated one of my roomies....she's nice, but I irritated her I guess.  She told me to not use that light because I was interrupting her sleep. Well well!!  I usually use a flashlight, but guess what, I can't see well with it and have to hold it in my mouth to see all I need to see. I'm still living out of suitcases in the corner by the door. Cut me some slack!!!  There is a girl on days in my room who wakes up and goes online during the night and turns on a light but I don't say anything b/c WTF, it's not worth it. So this moment of being told to not turn on a light so I can do necessary things like shower, got way under my skin. You know that when there is anger though, under that is usually some sadness. It was a major FML moment for me today.

That set me up for the next emotional trigger... another ICU consultation. I did not anticipate being so emotionally impacted by what I see here. I thought I'd be better at compartmentalizing it. Today several more Marines came in injured. One of them lost one leg, most of another, and part of his right arm. I went in to measure his "height" so I can give a tube feeding recommendation and I felt the tears coming. I really really really really really really really tried to not cry. I went back to the office to meet with the techs for a meeting and they saw it on my face. I got a hug, and permission to go in their office and cry. So I did.

Today was our first full "C3" band day. All of C3 is here, and the last C2'er left. We said goodbye to her today and wish her well!

I think I may have shared too much, but I guess that's the point.